Misery is optional Women bouncing back from adversity triumphant

Adversity is Guaranteed but Misery is Optional

Written by Leslie Bosch, PhD on May 14, 2022. Posted in Resiliency.

Misery is optional. How so? In this article, I’ll highlight a variety of ways you can develop resiliency and thereby make misery optional.

You’ve seen the stories where an average person successfully bounces back from great adversity. People who bounce back know how to move forward and start over again. Why is it that some people seem to bounce back from any sort of adversity and others do not?

Resilience is important. It’s the primary character trait that determines whether someone is able to dust themselves off and get back into the game of life after a setback.

Some people are practically destroyed by misfortune and are very good at remaining a victim. But others come back even stronger from adversity. People that are very resilient have some unique traits.

Table of Contents

6 Characteristics Associated with Resilient People

#1 Optimistic About the Future

Resilient people view current challenges as temporary. They hold a real expectation that things will improve in the near future. They believe that only when you’re lucky will you get more than you expect, so it’s wise to expect more of what you want!

#2 They Have Realistic Expectations

Resilient individuals recognize that bad things are bound to happen. They accept it with a minimal amount of emotional fuss. Consider that getting upset has never been a genuine solution for any problem.

#3 Aware of Their Strengths

Resilient people have faith in themselves and believe they can be successful with their knowledge and abilities. Remember that it’s difficult to take action when you expect to fail.

#4 Focused on What They Can Change

Resilient people don’t worry about the things that are out of their influence or control. They focus on changing the things that can be changed.

#5 Active

Resilient people don’t wait for someone else to come and save them. They take action and do everything they can to help themselves.

#6 Future Focused and Willing to Take Risks

Those with a high-degree of resiliency look at the possibilities and are willing to take on a reasonable degree of risk to create an even better future.

Do you have these traits? Are you willing to do something to improve your resiliency and make misery optional?

It has been suggested that the ability to respond strongly in the face of adversity has a genetic component. Some people are simply born with a greater capacity to deal with challenging times than others. However, we all have some capacity for rising to deal with adversity.

For example, at some point, you’ve probably misplaced your keys in the morning. You probably didn’t instantly say to yourself, “Well the day is lost. I’m going back to bed.” You decided to look for your keys and continued looking until you found them.

Looking for some ways to boost your resiliency?

4 Tips to Strengthen Your Resilience

#1 Force Yourself to Focus on the Positives

Think about all the things you have in your favor. In other words, things are better than you think. Focusing on your shortcomings is a good way to stop yourself dead in your tracks.

#2 Think About the Most Resilient People You Know

How would they handle your challenging situation? What can you learn from them?

#3 Focus on Solutions

Think about how you can solve your dilemma. Avoid wallowing over the dilemma itself.

#4 Call on Friends and Family for Support

Everything seems easier with a little help and support. In addition caring for the friends you already have, make new friends when you have the opportunity. The stronger your network, the easier your life will be.

In sum, adversity is a fact of life. But you can make misery optional by choosing how you’re going to handle that adversity. Just because you’ve struggled to overcome obstacles in the past doesn’t mean that pattern must continue.