6 Techniques to Master Shame
Ever wonder how to master shame?
You don’t want people to see you. If they did, they would know. They’d see it on you without you having to say a word. You don’t measure up. You never will measure up.
You live in shame.
Shame is one of those things you don’t like to admit to having, but you feel like everyone can see anyway. It’s what makes you want to hide, staying in the shadows. The good news? It doesn’t have to be this way. You can create master emotional mastery over shame.
Here are 6 techniques to master shame.
#1 Open Up to Shame
When we experience shame, we often don’t want to look at what’s causing this emotion. We ignore it, telling ourselves we don’t want to go down this path. To get past this, you need to find your courage and your curiosity. Ask questions about what you’re feeling. Explore the answers.
#2 Step Back
So you don’t become swamped in your own emotions, find a place where you can step back and observe the story of you. Allow yourself to explore your feelings of shame as an outsider would. What do you see?
#3 Explore the Story
Shame doesn’t just spring up out of nowhere. What story is this linked to? What’s happened in your past which has built up this response? Where do these feelings come from? Who is the one who taught you about shame? Understanding is crucial to getting past shame. Once you know these things, it’s time to explore your thoughts and feelings for truth. Is your shame legitimate? Or have you created shame out of something you were never responsible for in the first place?
#4 Check Your Talk
Negative self-talk will beat you down every time. Shame thrives on these kinds of lies. It’s time to put a halt to this nonsense. You should be building yourself up, not tearing yourself down.
#5 Understand Isolation
It’s normal to want to hide when you’re feeling shame. What methods have you been using? Sometimes we physically removed ourselves from the world. Sometimes we just try to fade into the background by how we dress or in the silence we keep. How can you change these isolation routines?
#6 Open Up to the World
By letting others see who you really are, you throw light on yourself where shame can no longer stand. Be open. Allow yourself to be vulnerable with those you love. Be brave and bold and confident!
In sum, shame is an important yet difficult emotion to master. Yet it can be done. Without shame, you can rejoin the rest of the world with your head held high. So don’t let life pass you by. Defeat shame and embrace the wonderful person you already are.
If you’d like support as you master shame, book a free 20-minute consultation and let’s talk about how coaching can help.